Growing like a weed....

Our little Calum is growing like a weed and it's breaking my heart! Tomorrow he will unbelievably already be 3 weeks old and I just can't figure out where time has gone. Getting him dressed over the past two days he's already starting to outgrow some of his newborn clothes and fit into the 0-3 month size.

Today I took Calum down the road to the Willows Clinic which is where his health care visitor is based (this is his own designated nurse who will be with him until he reaches school age). They run a clinic there Tuesdays and Thursdays for babies and we are supposed to take him there every week for the next month or two to have him weighed. We can also discuss any issues or concerns we have with our nurse and it's a chance to meet other Mums. In a couple of weeks I will also join a local group of Mums who have babies of similar age to Calum which will hopefully help with some of the isolation I've been feeling and allow me to make new friends with similar interests (babies!). Calum weighed in at 9lbs 8oz, up from 8 lbs 11 oz last Thursday which means he's eating well and plotting at just about the 50th percentile for his age group. I couldn't believe the size of some of the babies being weighed in at the clinic, I guess I've just gotten so used to Calum's size as these babies seemed like giants!

Unfortunately the health care visitor thought Calum was still looking a little jaundiced so we've been sent back to the hospital for an appointment next Wednesday at the Jaundice Clinic. They couldn't really tell me what that would entail other then more blood tests to check his bilirubin levels. I hope and pray he doesn't have to be admitted back into the hospital.

After the clinic I walked all the way into town (about 10 minutes from here) and went to a coffee shop which sounds silly but was the furthest I've walked so far since the C-section and was such a treat. Whilst there I noticed some other Mums having coffee with young babies and while I wish everyday I could be doing the same with my friends in America, I have to say I didn't wish I was with these Mums as they were talking in baby talk and doing my head in! Anyway, it was a great feeling to get out of the house and to get a little freedom and tomorrow I've already spotted a local park I'm going to check out. How exciting my life has become ;)!

Hope you all have a great weekend, we're going to put together Mark's new barbecue and catch up with the Verghese clan. I'm also going to try and sneak a nap or two since Mark will be at home to help watch the little munchkin. Enjoy x

Calum swaddled in his crib-how tiny does he look?!

Crashed out like usual!

Two weeks

Unbelievably Calum is two weeks old today. I'm not sure if it feels like he's been around longer or not, it just seems like two weeks has come and gone and I'm already thinking about how fast he's growing and how much I'm going to miss him being a baby someday. On Tuesday we went back to the Special Baby Care Unit where Calum had his hearing test (passed with flying colours) and another blood test to check his bilirubin levels. The result was the lowest level so far and apparently the two week mark is when jaundice starts to decline which would explain why the yellow has finally gone from his eyes and he's looking a lot healthier these days and eating like a horse.

Yesterday we had a healthcare visitor come to our house to "register" Calum. Basically this woman is a nurse in the community who will be Calum's designated nurse until he is 5 years old when he would then be assigned a nurse at school. Her name was Gina and she was fantastic, spent lots of time with us and even weighed the little guy who is now 8 lbs 11 oz. I'm really pleased about this because when we were sent to the SBCU he had lost almost 10% of his body weight so it really puts me at ease to know he's getting enough from breast feeding and on his way to being 100%. Thankfully Calum's umbilical cord also fell off yesterday-we were getting a little worried/grossed out so glad that's over with!

These past two weeks I've been riding the roller coaster of hormones which I know is to be expected but is probably compounded for me by not having my family and friends around to celebrate the arrival of Calum and to provide support. I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm worried about post natal depression, but I have had inexplicably low feelings at times which have resulted in lots of tears. Gina helped me realise part of this is because I'm not eating regularly enough and my blood sugar is all over the place so hopefully I can monitor this moving forward. Anyway, Mark wanted to cheer me up yesterday so we made our first venture out and went to a late lunch with Calum in our village. At first we were going to walk but it looked like it was going to rain so we drove and brought the full baby bag and everything which really wasn't necessary since he slept through our entire lunch! Never the less, it was nice to be out on a date with my husband and realise that we can leave the house and live life somewhat like we did before Calum arrived. Mark is trying to talk me into going to a movie and leaving Calum with his Mum this weekend but I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that... Below are some of the latest pics, have a great rest of the week x

Crashed out on his playmat

In his favourite sleep position on Dad's chest

Barbecues, baths and Baby Bjorns

We've been busy since we brought Calum home, a lot busier then I would have expected having had the c-section and etc. The weather has been gorgeous here and it's been so nice having Mark at home for his two weeks of paternity leave, I'm kind of dreading him going back to work and having to be on my own....

Now that Clum is home we've had to learn how to use all of his stuff like the breast pump, bottle warmer, steraliser, and etc. Mark was especially excited to break out the Baby Bjorn but I think Calum is still a little too small for it.

Last night we ventured out to Mark's brother's for Calum's first barbecue which went really well-we even celebrated with some champers and I had a glass of wine which was great! After we came home we gave Calum a bath (not his first as the midwife gave him one when he was in Special Care) which didn't go as well as it did in the hospital but was fun anyway.

Thought I would share some more pics since he is changing every day and looking a lot less jaundice. Today we went back to Special Care where he passed his hearing test with flying colours and had another blood test which we're waiting on the results for now... Hopefully the bilirubin levels have gone down and we won't have to take him to the special jaundice care unit which would be the next step if they have gone up.

Thanks to everyone for your phone calls, things have just been pretty unpredictable and with the time difference by the time I've got the little one settled all I want to do is go to bed so it makes it tough. Promise I will return to the real world soon and catch up with you guys as I'm dying to hear how you're all doing. Lots of love x

Calum in the crab outfit Auntie Tara bought him

Welcome home, Calum Xavier Verghese

What a week we've had. At 4:45 p.m. on Thursday the 23rd I spent the afternoon shopping with my sister in law Rachel. On my way home I leaned over to grab our satnav from the glove box and felt a huge whoosh and lots of wet.... For a good minute I thought maybe I peed my pants and I didn't want to find out until I got home so I drove the 20 minutes home in a state of acute alertness wondering if this was it, if my waters had broken. Upon arriving home I realised that in fact they had (thank God I didn't pee my pants!) and called the hospital who advised me to sit down and eat something and call back in an hour. After a call to Mark at work asking him to come home ASAP, a timely call from Dett & Ashley and a call to Rachel to tell her what had happened, I called the hospital back and they told us to come in. We arrived at the hospital around 7 p.m. and they confirmed my waters had broken and sent us home with instructions to return to the hospital when my contractions were regular and 2-3 minutes apart. As we hadn't eaten and were in for a big night ahead, Mark and I headed to McDonald's to get something to eat and got home around 9.30 p.m.-I hadn't had any contractions yet. Within about 30 minutes the contractions started coming on so I had Mark hook me up to my TENS machine which had only arrived the day before. Within less then an hour they were close enough for Mark to decide it was time to get to the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 11.30 p.m. and were checked right in and given a lovely midwife-unfortunately I don't remember her name but she was with us right until Calum was born. Very quickly I was given gas and air and by 3 a.m. I was fully dilated and ready to push. Whilst I was in a lot of pain, I was really proud of myself for not getting the epidural and sticking somewhat to our birth plan. After an hour and a half of pushing it became apparent that Calum didn't want to come out so the midwife sent in a doctor who told us that in addition to being a big baby (they guessed 9 lbs), he was looking upwards towards his feet which was making it hard for him to get through the pelvic bone. They were going to have to send me to "theatre" (operating room) and give me a spinal injection and try to manually move him and use the vacuum to get him out. After 4 attempts this didn't work and we were left with no other option but to have a Cesarean section. Calum Xavier Verghese entered the world at 5:51 a.m. on Friday April 24, 2009-the same day as my Grandpa Britton's birthday which is really touching as my Grandpa recently battled a brain tumour and was given only weeks to live before having a life saving surgery and chemo to extend his life.

We spent Friday and Saturday night in the hospital since I had had a C-section and were sent home at about 5 p.m. on Sunday. Here in the U.K. after you have your baby a midwife comes to your home for regular visits to check on you and baby so on Monday afternoon we had our first visit and the midwife immediately sent us back to the hospital for a blood test as Calum was looking very jaundice. At the hospital the test confirmed the bilirubin levels in his blood were quite high and he was put under the lights immediately to help reduce the bilirubin levels in his blood and get rid of the jaundice. I was heartbroken, seeing my baby back in the hospital, hearing him scream and cry getting his blood taken and knowing I would have to spend the night not being able to hold him as he had to be under these lights. Around 1.30 a.m. that night a doctor burst into my room and said that his bilirubin levels had gone up so high that he might need a blood transfusion and she whisked him out of my room and straight into the Special Baby Care Unit where they were going to monitor him more closely, put him on an IV and put him under more lights. Again, I was devastated and this time really scared.

After 2 more nights in the hospital and lots of fluids, Calum was FINALLY discharged yesterday afternoon and we got to spend our second night at home, a week after he came into the world. This week has been an absolute roller coaster of highs and lows and I feel as if I've already learned so much about what it means to be a Mom. Calum is an absolute doll, his first day or two he was really groggy from the operation drugs and then with the jaundice he was so tired he spent most of his time sleeping. The past day or two he's really come out of his shell and as one of the special care midwives put it, he's a pickle. We think he looks a lot like Mark but there is a bit of me coming out in him too. He's just a little angel and I can't begin to express how much I love this little person in my life.

Here are a few pics, now that we're home and he's looking better I will make sure to post more this week. We're back to the hospital this afternoon for another blood test to see where his levels are now as they had slightly increased again before we left the hospital so fingers crossed he's gone back down and all is okay. x

On our way home the first time....

Just a few hours old...

Looking more like himself last night swaddled up on our 2nd night home

Full term!

Today marks our 37th week and I couldn't be more ready for this baby. It's such a relief to know we've made it this far and very exciting knowing how close we are to getting to meet our baby. On Saturday Mark and I went up to London for our antenatal class which was great, we both learned a lot and were able to walk away with a birth plan and a much better idea of how things will go. We've definitely decided to have the baby at our local hospital rather then going up to the London hospital. In thinking about it, if I have to stay over night I would hate to know Mark was so far away and I was all by myself up in London. Also, it's pretty typical to go to the hospital and be sent back home if you aren't dilated enough or far enough along in the birth process and it just wouldn't be great to do the hour-plus drive up to London only to be sent home!

Mark & I have also decided as part of our birth plan that we're going to give the pool a try for the labouring process and pending how it goes, possibly for the birth. After watching about a million episodes of a Baby Story in college I would have never in a million years thought I would go that route, but in understanding some of the benefits I think it's worth a try and our local hospital offers a pool so I can use that whilst in the hospital. Mark of course WILL NOT be coming in the pool with me! I'm also only going to go for an epidural as a very last resort and am going to try using gas and air and see how I get on. I know it's pretty likely that the pain will be bad enough for me to request the epidural but with my fear of needles, knowing I would have to have a catheter (standard procedure here) and a few other drawbacks have lead me to really look beyond this option as much as possible.

Yesterday was my breast feeding class which was also great, really helped to go and learn about proper attachment and etc. and with all of this new education I really feel much less worried about not being prepared and even more ready for labor and to not be pregnant anymore! Having been off the past week has made life a lot more bearable but facing another week on my own at home has left me wondering what to do with myself and I'm eager to speed things along! Fingers crossed and watch this space-everyone here seems to think I'm going to be early based on how massive I am although I have a feeling we're going to be looking at his due date (May 11th) or longer....

A day in the life of a Desperate Housewife...

Today marked my first day as a housewife and I can't tell you how weird it feels! Thursday before the long weekend (here in the U.K. we get Good Friday off and Monday for Easter so Mark and I had 4 lovely days together this weekend) I manically handed over all of my work to my director and said goodbye to commutes on the train and work in the city.

My first day was actually a pretty busy one-I dropped Mark off at the station and headed to my new local hospital to sign up with them. I've been a little apprehensive about going to this local hospital because I wasn't sure if they could offer the same level of care that the massive University College of London Hospital in London could offer-basically the maternity unit there has just had a £100 million renovation and offers the best care in the country. Saying that, I've never seen the same midwife twice and regardless of what hospital you go under the NHS (National Health Service) in the U.K. you wouldn't meet the doctor who is going to deliver your baby until you show up in labor at the hospital so it doesn't make too much of a difference changing this late in the game. Anyway, the midwife I saw today said she would be my midwife throughout the rest of the process and even afterwards when the baby has come. She's also from Cork, Ireland which is close to where Mark's Mum is from and there is something so trustworthy and reassuring about the Irish, I felt very comfortable with her straight away. Unfortunately we won't be able to see the maternity ward until the day of but I think we've decided to have the baby locally rather then risk trying to get to London when the day comes since it could be up to a one and a half hour drive....

After the hospital I went to coffee. I know to you guys at home this seems so basic but this was a huge milestone for me. It's just not something that is part of my routine here, living in the heart of London you would have to get on a bus and go about 15 minutes before you got to a Starbucks. Now that I'm in the suburbs I can resume a routine which is more like that of the one I had in Seattle which is something I've missed. Anyway, I got coffee and then went to the grocery store BY MYSELF-another milestone! Because I haven't had my license until last month Mark has had to go with me to the grocery store every time we have shopped for nearly 3 years now. It was so nice to be able to dilly dally and take my time browsing around (even if 3 separate people made comment on how big I was and how it looked like I was going to pop at any minute!).

I finished off the afternoon with my pregnancy yoga class which is always a treat and then came home to make dinner and catch up on the day with Mark. It's going to be hard to get used to not having the mental and social stimulation that my job offered, but it's also going to be great to have the next year (yes, here in the UK we get ONE YEAR of paid maternity leave!) to get to know myself again and of course to get to know this little baby. Let's hope the rest of the week is just as fulfilling-tomorrow I'm going to plant some flowers in the garden and do some weeding since it's going to be in the 60s again. Can't wait x

The nursery

I can finally post pictures of the nursery since we're about 95% of the way done. First the nursery furniture came, then we had Mark's Mum's boyfriend Roy come around and spend a weekend painting it a beautiful blue and then last weekend Mark and his brother Paul put the Safari Friends border up. I have to say, I absolutely love this room-when I go in I get that overwhelming sense of calm that you would want from a baby nursery and am really pleased with how it turned out. It's been a labor of love and I couldn't ask for more. What's especially sweet is that Mark goes in every night before bed and walks around touching everything, opening the wardbrobe doors and flipping through the clothes hanging in there-so far he's spent more time in there then I have!

You might notice that we've finally decided on a name! Calum was always our favourite but we started to have our doubts about "Cal". After taking into consideration everyone's comments and testing each one for a week or so we still came back at Calum and I have to say now that we've decided, I really love it.

This weekend much to Mark's urging I packed most of my overnight bag which at 35 weeks might be a bit premature but better to be safe then sorry! With maternity leave in sight (3 days to go!) I have to say, there really isn't going to be much for me to do! We literally have everything but a few toiletries (including a thermometer if anyone has any recommendations), a nursing pillow (not sure if this is needed, or not??) and then of course I still have to wash all of his little clothes and bedding. What am I going to do after the first week?!

x Jen

The crib


The Moses basket (thanks Dave & Michelle!)